Welcome, traveller, to my humble abode!
The abode itself isn't mine, per se, but don't let trivialities interfere; Take a seat by one of the fires as I read from a classic.
You'll know Charles Dickens as the noted Victorian author of such great novels as Oliver The Whist, Niggling Nickelback, Great Expectorations, Our Mutual Target, and of course the unforgettable A Tale Of A City And Another Similar, Yet Contrasting, City.
But did you know that Charles invented Dickensmas as we know it? Thanks to his Yuletide yarns we writhe in a seasonal orgy of liver-detonating feasting, feigned social reconciliation, cloying family sentiment and mass material consumption.
"Bah, Hamburg!" I'm tempted to say. But these comfy holiday sweaters, Trinket trails and Ranking shenanigans have really lifted my spirits!
Then again, maybe it's the brandy talking... Now, where was I?